How To Kill A Spider

An easy guide for people with Arachnophobia

Step 1. Find the Spider

With spring around the corner, spiders could be anywhere! In the shower, your bed, a shoe, anywhere. It doesn’t matter where the spider is, just find it.

Step 2. Don’t Move

If you run from the room screaming, when you come back, the spider might be in another unpleasant place. Once you find a spider, stay there.

Step 3. Find a Weapon

You could technically kill a spider with almost anything, which is convenient because spiders are everywhere. I think the best weapon to kill a spider with is a shoe, but it could be whatever you have by you. (actual weapons are not recommended)

Step 4. HURRY UP! The Spider’s moving!

Grab your weapon and hold eye contact with one of the spider’s many, many eyes.

Step 5. Calm Down.

Take a deep breath. You got this.

Step 6. Kill it

Push your weapon towards the hairy spider with many legs. Squash that spider as hard as you can, and try to ignore the crunch or splat of the spider.

Step 7. Congratulations!

You have killed a spider! You should feel good about it. You are officially a spider conquerer. Now go clean the spider guts off of the wall. 🙂

Step 8. Enjoy These Pictures That Are Required for This Post